Sexual problems and hypnotherapy
Naturally, hypnotherapy should be seen as one amongst a number of different treatments which are available for sexual problems. There is the pump or vacuum therapy, the penile prosthesis, Viagra, muse, injection therapy … My intention though is just to give detail about hypnotherapy.
A good book to help with lack of sexual fulfilment is Valerie Austin’s, “Hypnosex: Self-hypnosis for greater sexual fulfilment”. Thorsons, 1996. She gives a good summary of the ways in which hypnosis can be used with accompanying scripts for self-hypnosis. She also mentions that it is not just for problems such as impotence, vagissmus, but also for increasing sexual pleasure in couples that may be having adequate experiences already. Likewise it could be used to rekindle a relationship that has become too routine.
Sex and the power of hypnotic suggestion
That hypnosis is often the preferred method is because the real sexual object is the brain itself. Much of what we experience in sex is due to our imagination. This is why masturbation works. It is purely the power of suggestion! So, likewise, hypnosis works on the power of suggestion. This is too why passion fades when suggestions about the long term relationship become overlaid with the feeling that it has become too routine. In our youth prejudiced society we tend to emphasise the importance of being young to really enjoy yourself in whatever way. The opposite is true though because it can be suggested that a relationship becomes more rewarding the more years it lasts. Likewise through the power of hypnosis it can be suggested that the original flame is still there and the partner is the same as when you were first passionately fell in love. It is even quite possible to suggest that the passion has increased because there have been so many good experiences with your partner that the memory itself leads to more intense sex now.
Whatever you believe it is important to know that beliefs start in the mind. This leads to a choice which is that if you believe you can do something then you can. If you believe you can’t do something then you can’t. It all starts in the mind. This is how simple it is. The subconscious mind just does work in this way. It just wants whatever is available as soon as possible. But this is not the answer because frequently it is necessary to be patient because what you want is not available now! In Valerie Austin’s Book she dedicates it to her husband-wherever he is. This then is about seeing the future and seeing it as open. It is not predetermined; it is truly up to you. If you don’t think that is true this doesn’t make what you think a fact, it is your opinion.
The variety of sexual problems is beyond the scope of this website so I will take a common one which is the inability of even healthy young men to have penetrative sex with women or sometimes with women they really care about but not women in general.
Can hypnosis help with sexual problems?
One man I treated who could not have penetrative sex with any woman he was with, I successfully used the technique of reframing with. This is an hypnotic technique in which the mind is allowed freedom to come up with as many solutions to the problem as possible. His mind was particularly creative and he came up with about twenty ways to facilitate penetrative sex. This ranged from using an experienced prostitute who would help him, to looking at porn with a partner and getting excited enough to have penetrative sex, to finding a woman through a dating agency whom he could start a relationship with on a basis of trust and tell her his problem when the time seemed right. We did reframing consciously but through hypnosis too so his subconscious mind could come up with solutions. In this way both parts of his mind could work on the problem.
Developing positive relationships with hypnotherapy
Any solution to the problem must be judged on several criteria such as it must be at least as effective, immediate and available as the old way of doing things. The idea is to try what seems to be the most powerful choice to test it effectiveness for two or three weeks. Clearly if it doesn’t work too well then something more effective must be found perhaps from ones previous choices… This man chose to find a partner through a dating agency and this proved to be effective. He did come to me while the relationship was developing in order to have positive suggestions reinforced in subconscious mind to help him succeed. On a follow up one or two years later he reported that the relationship was still succeeding.